Nothing Of It
by BaderLane
Summary: Lily takes on her first ever mission alone since joining the Order. Then she meets the goal and everything goes wrong.


The corridor was dark and cold, as if a harsh wind had long since passed through it, leaving the stillness of its chill to linger among the stone walls.

It was as quiet as such as well, like the aftermath of a hard and bloody battle, when no one dares speak or make a sound, lest it inspires another attack.

Lily shivered and drew her cloak closer around her, while at the same time trying to make her footsteps less noticeable in the silent hallway.

The stone corridor was lined with torches, aflame but providing very little light. Alcoves, arched in their making but shallow in terms of depth patterned themselves only a few feet apart along the wall. Mould collected along the top of the tunnel, allowing rainwater to drip into small puddles along the floor, which too, was made of stone.

Lily stepped around them, wincing with every _clop_, which came from her dragon hide boots.

She was walking hastily; like someone with a place to go, and though the hallway was said to often be occupied by people, she had scarcely seen a single face but for a few shadows and figures crossing at intersections. 

But now she was drawing nearer to the place of her affairs and decided the matter could not be held off any longer.

Slipping into an alcove Lily dug her hands deep into the pockets of her cloak and withdrew a shapeless white mask. She slid it on and drew up her hood, making sure to tuck any tendrils of copper-gold hair behind the edges of the mask before reappearing in the corridor.

She resumed her walk.

As she continued, Lily decided that the echoing noise was indeed made by voices, and they were drawing closer with every step.

She ignored the thudding of her heart and the large lump in her throat as she walked steadily forward. Eyes staring straight ahead, looking like she had business of her own to attend to, Lily strained in her gathering nerves to recall the greeting signal.

Three shadows appeared on the wall as Lily rounded a corner. 

All talking and laughing darkly, they barely stopped to make the hand signal as Lily walked past.

She hastily replied with the proper gesture, a little too hastily, perhaps.

But she didn't think they noticed.

She didn't dare turn back to stare as they passed; she was this far; she had fooled them. 

It wasn't any special secret that many Death Eaters were half-wits.

But then again, many were not.

Like Lucius Malfoy, for example. Dumbledore had warned her about him.

***

"Avoid Lucius if you can Lily," he had told her the night before she'd departed. "If you cannot do that for whatever reason, just try to limit what you say. He's likely to recognize you if you speak to him; he knows your voice."

At that, James had jolted, his face clearly revealing that he thought he'd found a loophole to Lily's predicament (it was actually _his_ predicament, as Lily had very few qualms when it came to this mission, though James was another story).

"Then should she actually be going? I mean, if Malfoy knows her voice, and might recognize her, is that really worth the risk? I think you should get someone else to do it. All in favour of someone else?"

James had then wildly shot his hand into the air and cast a meaningful glance around at the rest of the assembled order. Shocked and a bit taken aback, Remus, Peter and Sirius had hesitantly raised their hands, in the interest of loyalty to their decidedly fanatical friend.

"James, don't be a prat," Lily had told him angrily. She had been putting up with his wild suggestions about replacing her in this mission for almost a month, since it had been planned. He had been against it from the start.

But before she could say anything else, Dumbledore was there.

"James, may I remind you of the reason as to why Lily and Lily alone is needed for this mission?" he asked gently.

James slowly lowered his hand from the air (behind him, his friends did the same) and didn't answer.

Dumbledore smiled. "I didn't imagine so." Then, he turned to Lily.

"As I was saying, remain in the back, stay quiet, and look for our subject. When you find him, do not try to speak to him right away. If possible, try and wait until he is off alone. If Lucius, or one of his friends sees you they'll become suspicious. Wait until the right time. Do you understand?"

Lily nodded, and realized that if she hadn't been upset with James at that moment, she would have wanted his reassuring touch; she suddenly felt nervous.

"I- I only have one question," she said, fighting down the quiver in her voice.

This would be her first mission alone, without James, Alice, or anyone in the Order. She was on her own this time.

Dumbledore nodded and watched her carefully from behind his half-moon spectacles. True, James had rights to be upset about this situation; Lily was not used to being on her own for this kind of thing.  

Not to mention this was particularly dangerous. 

But it needed to be done, and unfortunately, she was the one who needed to do it.

"I-" she paused, collected herself properly and resumed. "What if they…" she swallowed, clearly not meaning to drag out what she was trying to say, just trying to word it properly. "What if they are… torturing… people… that night?"

Dumbledore considered the question seriously.

"I am not telling you to take part merely for the purpose of accomplishing your goal, Lily," he said gravely, "but I am also not telling you jeopardize your own life by trying to escape or save the supposed victim. However, I doubt such a case scenario will arise tonight. I truly do."

Lily had nodded, though it hadn't been the answer she'd wanted. She would simply have to act upon her best judgement.

***

Lily halted again; her mask was slipping. She didn't know where Dumbledore had acquired it, but it hardly fit, which made her nervous to some extent.

She backed into an alcove for cover and fixed it again, not daring to sue her wand yet, and simply settled with pulling the hood lower to hold the mask in place.

The hood too, was too big. 

The cloak itself was actually not hers, but James'; he had given it to her to wear the night of her departure, as a sort of affectionate gift. He had been so anxious of her leaving on her own, and him, unable to do anything to aid her. The fact that she hadn't thought to bring a cloak and needed his for its hood was great for him; it meant he was helping.

His parting words to her had almost been lost among the seemingly endless throng of thoughts presently occupying her mind, but she was never one to forget priceless moments…

***

"Oh shit!" She exclaimed, stopping in her tracks. "Oh, shit, I forgot my cloak!"

"It's alright," James assured her, "the meeting probably won't be held outside in February."

"No, but James, I need a hood. All Death Eaters have a hood! I can't go to this meeting without a hood!" Lily was getting hysterical. She couldn't go back to get it; there wasn't time, but she couldn't go without one too. 

James stared at her with a sort of calm affection, something she hadn't seen him do since this mission had been assigned to her (since then it had been wild, panicky and frightened rabbit stares).

"Here," he said gently. He undid the clasp for his cloak and swept it off him.

 Lily stepped forward as he draped it over her shoulders.

He clipped the silver clasp and gently touched the bottom of her chin with his index finger, tilting her face up.

"I love you," he murmured. His eyes were on her lips; they very rarely met her eyes when they were together like this.

Lily smiled softly and tipped her feet onto her toes so she could kiss him. 

"And?" she whispered, breaking apart only inches from his own lips.

"And… I'm sorry for being an over-protective jerk for the past-"

"Two months?" Lily probed teasingly, bringing herself back down again.

"Oh, come on," James pleaded, slipping his arms around her underneath her cloak and pulling her close. "It was at most one month."

"Two," Lily corrected, allowing herself to be brought forward, leaning her head on his chest.

"One and a half," James tried, resting his chin on her head.

"Three," Lily said, the bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Ok. I'm sorry I was an over-protective jerk for tw- three months."

Lily savoured this for a moment before pulling away just enough for her to be able to look into his eyes.

"You are forgiven," she told him before pecking his lips again.

"Lily, it's time to go," Dumbledore said, appearing beside them a few moments ago but remaining silent and turned away.

Lily and James sighed as one.

"Don't get yourself killed," James pleaded.

Lily buried her face in his arms for a moment before breaking away and smiling bravely.

"You can't tell me what to do," she teased.

"I'm serious," James said, not teasing. "Lily, this is-"

"James, _please_! Whatever you have to warn me about I know I've heard it at least once during this period of _three_ months. Just smile, kiss me and say 'see you later,' please?"

James studied her for a moment; how could he be sure this _wouldn't_ be the last time he'd ever see her again? 

She was so beautiful. Her very being positively radiated warmth. He wanted to hold her and never let go.

But, he loved her. He trusted her and if he did see her again, he didn't want her to be angry because he'd doubted her individual capabilities.

Painfully, he forced a smile and kissed her, a little harder than Lily would have liked; it indicated a certain reluctance she found most irritating. He pulled her away at arms' length and whispered "see you later," very softly.

Lily grinned and stepped away.

"No boozing with Sirius while I'm gone, ok?"

James shook his head.

"No, Dear."

"I'll be asking Remus- I'm warning you; he's a real snitch when I bribe him with raw meat."

James broke into a real grin, and let her go.

"I love you," he mouthed as Lily backed away to join Dumbledore.

"I love you," Lily mouthed back, before Apparating away.

***

"Personally, I would prefer to wait until we're thirty to attempt for an heir, but I'm afraid Narcissa won't wait that long. She is very anxious to give me a son, I know." A sneering, drawling voice echoed down the hallway, startling Lily. 

She froze, much to what would be her disgust later, that is, if she lived to regret it, and she wondered what to do when Lucius passed her. 

What she did last time worked; why not do that?

Lily forced herself to begin walking again. She took three steps, carefully walking and trying to hear what was being said.

She'd have to-

Lily gave a strangled gasp as an arm shot out from an alcove and pulled her in.

The arm wrapped itself around the front of her shoulders, and she felt her back being pressed against a warm cloaked body. She saw a thin, translucent film slip over her eyes and knew by experience it was an invisibility cloak.

A trembling sensation that was starting in her fingertips began to spread through her entire body; it was fear, fear she had never experienced before; the fear of the unknown.

She had no idea who was holding her so tightly against them, what was happening. Her breathing was shallow and came in small gasps. She was quivering uncontrollably. 

She had never wanted James near her more in her life.

Lucius and a small number of hooded strangers passed, all listening to Lucius speak, though his words were lost to Lily, who desperately clutched the arm that was wrapped around her front, inches from her throat, and tried to keep it away.

After a few moments, Malfoy's voice dimmed as they got further away.

Instead of loosening its grip however, the arm tightened and Lily started when a familiar voice hissed in her ear "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Severus!" Lily burst, exhaling, obviously relieved.

There was a moment's pause, and Lily gasped again as her captor's hand dug into her shoulder. 

"I could kill you right here," he spat, his mouth very close to Lily's ear.

Lily took a deep breath to steady herself. She held onto Snape's arm, holding it tight as if she were afraid it would choke her. 

"But you won't," she whispered.   
"Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do," Snape spat, letting go of her suddenly and throwing her from underneath the cloak.

Lily staggered forward and out of the alcove, stood up and faced him. He was covered halfway by the invisibility cloak and hidden a bit more by the shadow of the alcove.

"I know you well enough to tell you that you won' t hurt me," Lily said steadily.

Severus didn't reply at first. He took the cloak off his shoulders and tucked it into a bag hanging from one shoulder, then stepped out of the alcove himself. He held his mask in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, trying hard not to look genuinely concerned.

"I'm here for…" _You_ she thought, deciding it wasn't right to say that out loud. "Dumbledore. He wanted me to…"

"Don't tell me," Snape interrupted suddenly, casting his hand out. "Don't tell me. I shouldn't be listening to this."

"Severus," Lily tried, but was silenced again.

"Get out of here, Lily. I can look the other way right now, when we're alone. But if you go to this congregation and you're discovered, I can't help you."

Lily smiled her beautiful smile, making it very difficult for Snape to remain stony and cold.

"I'm fine, Severus. The Order is sound. The-"

"Don' t you understand what you're saying?" Snape asked angrily, trying to keep his voice down; he knew how sound carried in these tunnels. "I am a Death Eater, Lily. You're part of the Order. I don't care about how great the Order is! I hate the Order! I'm a Death Eater…" he trailed off, his voice gone down considerably. He seemed slightly defeated and glanced up at Lily, suddenly nervous and ashamed.

Lily was still smiling, encouragingly. "But you don't have to be Severus," she started, stepping forward, arms extended.

Severus stepped back. "Don't," he warned. "I don't want to hear it." 

He turned away from her for a moment, ran a hand through his hair and turned back.

"You should leave now, before the meeting starts."

Lily laughed a little, also trying to keep her voice down. "I'm not going anywhere, Severus. I have a job to do."

Severus stared at her wildly for a moment; she recognized it as the same stare James had given her for entire month. Then-

"_Please_ go?"

Lily grinned and shook her head silently. She slipped her mask on again, and pulled up her hood.

Severus looked defeated, but also slipped his mask on.

"Then I can't say I didn't try to help you," he said harshly, making Lily flinch a little. 

She was too far in now, she knew, but that didn't stop her from becoming slightly discouraged.

"I don't need your help," she said to his retreating back. 

Lily waited a few moments before following him down the hallway, and, after a few more moments, into a dank basement, up a rickety flight of wooden stairs and into what seemed to her was a ballroom.

When she entered this room Lily couldn't help but stop and gasp; it was full of hooded and masked people, all talking and making eerie gestures to each other.

The only way Lily knew who Snape was was because of his shoulder bag, which she knew contained his invisibility cloak.

She followed at a distance, keeping her eyes on Snape, but at the same time remaining wary of her surroundings.

So far, so good, but she also knew things could change very quickly.

And, even as she thought of this, Lily didn't see one of the many hooded Death Eaters coming up on her left until she had shouldered him and knocked his drink from his hand.

"Hey!" he barked angrily, shoving her roughly, "watch where you're going!"

"S-sorry," Lily muttered, trying to become lost from this man in the crowd.

He, however, did not seem to want to relent.

"What's your name?" he demanded loudly, attracting the attention of those around them very quickly as he continued to shove her backwards.

"I-,"

Lily glanced wildly over her shoulder, looking for some kind of aid, and, finding none, realized with a wild panic in her throat that her mask was becoming loose as the Death Eater was pushing her.

Grabbing the mask with one hand, Lily fought to keep her hood up as well.

"I- I'm sorry!" she replied frantically. "I wasn't watching where I was going! Please, stop!"

The man stopped then, but although he had a mask on, she could tell he was looking at her suspiciously.

Lily felt a sinking sensation in her stomach as she realized there was little chance she was getting out of this, then-

"Back off, Dolohov," Severus was at her elbow now, and stuck a protective arm in front of her.

"What's this Snape?" Dolohov asked mockingly, now treating Severus to a nudge of his own. "You got yourself a friend?"

Snape grabbed Lily's arm and wheeled her away, muttering something to Dolohov that she didn't hear.

"I thought you weren't going to help me," Lily whispered to Snape.

"You're lucky I have no self-control," Snape told her harshly. "Honestly, can't you go five minutes without getting into trouble?"

"You insult me," Lily retorted, "this coming from a guy who serves Lord Voldemort-"

"Shh!" Snape pinched Lily's arm hard enough to make her wince. "Don't say that name! It's disrespectful."

Lily rolled her eyes behind her mask. She glanced around; Dolohov seemed to have lost interest, and she was no longer the object of those around hers' stares.

Now seemed a pretty good time.

"Severus," she began, tugging lightly on his sleeve.

"Attention, your attention please Ladies and Gentlemen," Lucius Malfoy's voice rang out among the crowd, and any kind of commotion ceased immediately.

"All bow to our Lord," Lucius commanded, and a sea of black hoods fell to their knees, Lily included, though it was mainly because Severus had yanked her down.

Lily, being the clever thing that she was, got the hint and kept her head down, though realized that it was necessary to keep one hand planted on her mask to keep it on.

She'd have to have a word with Dumbledore when she got done with this.

Lily chanced a peek upwards and held her breath as Lord Voldemort himself stepped up.

"Rise," he said, smiling a lipless smile.

Lily shrugged Severus' guiding hand off her elbow and stood with the rest.

"I am pleased to see that there has been such a turn-out tonight," Voldemort's high voice rang out in the room, and Lily felt a shivering chill go down her spine as it reached her ears. There was something oddly disturbing about his voice.

"It pleases me that so many of you are interested in putting our world to right. Especially some who wouldn't normally imagine themselves here," he added, and Lily felt another chill, though this time it was like a violent shot explode within her as his eyes fell, and stayed on her.

"However, it grieves me to inform you all that our meeting has been penetrated by an outsider."

Lily involuntarily began to shiver. Behind her, she heard Snape's cloak rustling, and she thought she felt him move closer to her.

"However, we have had the good fortune of catching him before anything got out of hand," Voldemort resumed. Lily frowned. 

Then Lucius Malfoy dragged a beaten, bound James up in front of the assembly and the shivering resumed.

"Severus!" Lily hissed, turning to him.

"I know, keep quiet," Severus said, turning her back around before anyone noticed. 

"James," Lily whimpered, feeling her shoulders sag.

James didn't see her. He didn't know which one was her. A Death Eater mask hung from around his neck, and he was wearing a black cloak, though the hood had been ripped down to reveal a very tired, very battered looking face.

She could tell he was looking for her. Tears formed in Lily's eyes and she felt herself going numb. She had never been more afraid in her life.

"This blood traitor was found lurking in the Tunnels of Secrecy, his intentions no doubt including some," he grinned maliciously, "half-baked scheme formulated by the muggle loving fool, Dumbledore. However, what Dumbledore doesn't know is that we have an inside source which informs us of all activities inside his so called 'Order'. But just because we have an advantage doesn't mean we will show mercy!" At Voldemort's last words, those assembled roared in agreement. 

Lily turned to Snape. "What are we going to do?"

Snape tilted his head to stare at her. Lily could see his eyes were cold and unfeeling. 

"We will cheer in homage and gratitude to our Lord," he said in a voice that was not his.

Lily swallowed and glanced at James. Presently, Voldemort was basking in his warm praise. James was eying him warily, blood trickling discreetly from his nose and a purple welt forming under one eye.

Lily's heart nearly broke.

She turned back to Snape.

"Severus, _please_!" she begged, grasping his hands in hers and squeezing.

Severus shifted his gaze back to her and stared for what seemed like an eternity.

Then, slowly, he pulled his hands from hers, and said in a low voice, "I warned you, Evans. Didn't I warn you?"

He pushed her aside then, and proceeded to the front of the crowd, jeering and laughing with the rest.

Lily ignored hot, prickling tears gathering behind her mask and followed.

But instead of confronting Snape, she leapt forward and towards the platform where James stood.

However, Snape, though he was reluctant to aid his arch nemesis, was still unable to allow Lily to hurt herself. His mind was changed and made in another second.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into the throng. Luckily there was such commotion that no one noticed.

"No!" Lily cried, fighting as Snape wrestled her back, pummelling his chest with her fists. "No, let me go! They'll kill him!"

"No they won't Lily," Snape said to her in the voice she recognized. The one he used when speaking to her. "It's okay. Just shut up for a moment."

Lily stopped fighting and glanced quickly from James to Severus.

James seemed to have noticed, though no one else had, and was eying her questioningly.

Though due to the mask, Lily was unable to show any kind of emotion back, she still told him who she was through her body language.

Her hands were tightened into fists, and her shoulders were slightly hunched, indicating her distress.

"Enough!" Voldemort boomed. The hall elapsed into silence. "What do we do to intruders?"

"PUNISH THEM!" the Death Eaters all screamed, laughter in their voices.

"What do we do to blood traitors?"

"PUNISH THEM!" they repeated, throwing their fists in the air.

"What do we do to Muggle Loving Fools who consort with Dumbledore and his pathetic, blood traitor consisted Order?"

There was a moment's silence, as the Death Eaters struggled to comprehend everything that had just been said, before the hall erupted again.

"KILL THEM!"

Lily finally managed to lock eyes with James. He looked afraid, but not as much as she was.

"What are we going to do?" she asked Severus. He was still holding her arms, to prevent her from bursting forward again, and he could feel her shaking violently now. Trembling was behind her.

Why couldn't he ever say no to her?" he asked himself furiously.

"I don't know, but you can't-"

That was enough for her. Lily broke away from Snape with surprising force and clambered onto the platform. 

"Lily!" James cried as she grabbed the ropes binding his hands behind his back and tugged furiously at them. An instant later Lucius and two larger men were on her, pulling her away from James, ripping her own mask of and hood down.

Adrenaline was wearing off, but Lily still fought, even when Lucius yanked her back by her hair, and announced her presence and personage to the Death Eaters.

James was yelling, Death Eaters were cheering, Voldemort was laughing. Lily's head was spinning, and the only person she seemed to be able to see was Severus. He was staring at her, then-

He was gone.

Lily couldn't believe it. He had Apparated away from her. He was gone.

There went the last hope.

Lily gripped Lucius hands to keep from him pulling her hair any harder, and gritted her teeth in a grimace.

"Two intruders in one night!" Voldemort laughed, clasping his hands together.

He bent down close to Lily and inhaled noticeably. 

"Ah, and she stinks like a Mudblood. I can smell the stench all over her."

The hall burst into laughter.

Lily glanced at James, who was now struggling frantically against the two thugs holding him back, and she saw him yelling her name.

One of the larger men hit him in the stomach and James doubled over in pain.

Lily screamed, but was quieted by another wrench from Lucius.

Voldemort pulled a pair of dragon hide gloves from his pocket and slipped them on. He stepped forward, then took Lily's chin gently in his fingers.

"My, my, yes. Her looks don't even help to plead her case. What do you have to say for yourself, Mudblood?"

More laughter was quickly quieted to an astounded silence when Lily spat in Voldemort's face.

"You are no match for Dumbledore's Order!" she snarled. James gave an encouraging cheer from behind her.

They were both going to die anyway. They might as well do it like Gryffindors.

Voldemort silently wiped the mucus from out of his eye and stared at her coldly for countless moments before glancing at Lucius. 

"Hold her."

 The noise climbed again as Voldemort tore hateful eyes away from Lily, and turned back to the congregation.

Lucius pulled Lily's head back, though not far enough that she could not see what Voldemort was doing. He walked a few steps, turned to face her again, and raised his wand.

And it was like a light of heaven that shone down upon Lily as Fawks, Dumbledore's phoenix, appeared from thin air.

The entire hall seemed fixated on the phoenix and its light. 

And then the feather came with it. 

Floating gracefully toward the floor, all eyes were on these three things as music began to play.

Lily seemed frozen like the rest of them. James didn't think. He tore himself away from Crabbe and Goyle, hurtled himself at Lucius, and knocked Lily away.

"Get them!" Voldemort screamed, though it sounded as though he were screaming underwater. The Phoenix song was drowning out sound. 

James wrapped his arms around Lily's front and reached out with one hand, curling his fingers around the golden feather.

Another flash of light occurred, and the music became uncomfortably loud.

James longed to cover his ears, but didn't dare let go of the feather, or Lily.

They were plunging forward and backward at the same time. Their surroundings were spinning and Lily didn't even seem to be there, she was so quiet.

James managed to press his cheek against hers before they landed on a heap on Dumbledore's office floor.

James and Lily untangled themselves, then embraced.

James wasn't going to let her go.

He would never let her go.

Over his shoulder, Lily looked wildly at the faces surrounding them. Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Severus…

"Severus!" she cried. 

Suddenly she understood.

She pulled away from James and stood, only to fall into Snape's arms. 

Bewildered, Snape cautiously wrapped his arms around her and patted her back. He avoided James' eyes.

"Thank you," Lily mumbled into his robes. "Thank you."

She loved him so much she had been willing to die with him. Severus longed for a love like that. 

Lily was so fiercely loyal it made Severus' heart wrench.

She loved him, too. She did. He was her friend, her schoolyard chum from Hogwarts.

He hadn't let her down, though something was wrong with this. 

Why had he done what he'd done? He didn't even know what had possessed him to Apparate to Dumbledore's side. 

All he knew was that he had seen Lily and James' pain, had heard Lily's anguished cries, and had been unable to not do something.

Only then, when Lily broke away and brushed tears of gratitude from her eyes was Severus able to lift his eyes and meet James.

And instead of hatred, they were filled with the same gratitude.

Gratitude that had taken less than thirty seconds to form. The same gratitude that Lily, his friend of six years, had shown.

And Severus managed to smile back.

"Think nothing of it."


End file.
